Last night was a really wierd night. I met this guy off the internet named Ryan. He picked me up from my aunts house and went to his friend Robyn's brothers apartment. When we got there two of his friends, Erika and Robyn (who are awesome) told me how cute I was and it was really sweet because I don't usually get alone with females. It was great though. We hung around there til around 12:30am just drinking, smoking and watching movies. Then when we left there JD had to drive Robyn's car back to her house. On the way there I asked Ryan if he liked me and he gave me some LAME ASS excuse that he didn't like me because I dated someone he went to ELEMENTRY school with! Which was the most bullshit answer I ever heard. So I just let it go... Then Ryan had to drive Erika and JD all the way back to Barnhart. So I put him on the hot seat right in front of them and made him give me a REAL answer. Which he told me that he likes really skinny girls, I was like whatever. I don't care. JD kept giving him shit saying, "You always say that you want a girl with a personality and that will push you." Which made me and Erika laugh. He could name all kind of Pro's but only one Con about why he didn't like me, he said I was funny, had a good personality. But I'm just to thick for him. Whatever! I'm okay with it though. I don't want a guy who can't take a chance just because he doesn't like a girl thats a little fat. It really annoys me in some ways though because he said that and I've lost 65 pounds in one month. In a month when i lose another 50 or so pounds and I'm hot, then he will want me and I'll just be as big of an ass as he was too me about being over weight. Allwell! Thanks for reading all!

Today was very strange!! My mother called me at Jenny's and said, "Alex still isn't home from school." That was at 5:30pm. I drove up to her school to see if anyone was there and the janitor let me call transportation. They didn't know where she was and said wait 10 more minutes. Now it is 9:15pm and we have been home for 15 minutes. We called transportation, the police. We are all sitting around here frantically scared of what could've happened to her. He silly ass fell asleep on the bus and went to some random kids house from her school. Then the mother called the police and Alex got to sit at the police station for like 3 hours with no contact with us. Police are stupid. She knows are address and they didn't call or anything. What bull! Allwell... She is home safe and sound. I'm just glad it wasn't worse! Note to parents: Make sure your kids know how to contact you in case of emergency.

Love too all!!

What do I do about life sometimes? Should I forgive or give up? I'm not so sure these days.... Things are so confusing. No matter how hard you try to turn things around sometimes they just keep biting you in the ass.... I will keep trying but I wonder why sometimes..... hmmm.....  Well, what brought all this on is the way things have been going are bad and then out of the blue my father has been writing me letters from prison. It's strange to get appology letters after 20 years. I'm just not sure how to react... Should I let the past go.... Not sure what to do quite yet. Allwell.... I could ramble on all day.... .. What to do what to do?? I think I will just kick back and let whatever happen. Maybe the right guy, the right job, and the right financial aid will find me? Well.... Never know... Just a thought from the mind of the Duck. Love you all for reading.

This weekend I went camping with some of my friends! Donald, Katy, Andrew, Kayla, James, Me, Joe, Dave, and Jamie. It was soooo awesome! We were late getting down there on friday so it was so dark we couldn't find the road are campsite was on and when we finally did find it there was no way too get down the road because a bus was blocking the road. The lady at the front desk told us too go to the campsites number 500 to 600 so we did. There was no one anywere near us.... We are all so loud. After we got everything set up, we all played circle of death, chilled around the camp fire and got sooo drunk.. Then they decided to play truth, dare or double dare... Don got dared to walk around the campsite naked, it was funny seeing his little ass hopping around naked trying to cover up his shit. But some how I was dared with no shot option to take off my clothes and walk two laps around the campsite, I walked about half a lap jumped in my tent and grabbed my sleeping bag. It was messed up. I was soo mad!!! Then Katy and I decided we were going to go jump in the river, we walked all the way down there and then figured out it was toooooooooo cold for that shit!!! Then on the way back we realized that Don followed us down there so we hid inside of one of the buses. I swear that door was stuck. I couldn't get it open. Don finally told me how... lol.... Saturday Donald's short ass decided to wake everyone up at 7am.... We don't even know what time we went to sleep. His ass was like "Rise and shine" that sucked because we were all soooo tired. Don made breakfast, everyone else kind of stumbled around hung over and showered (SHOWERS ARE AWESOME!) It was so cold but after a nice warm shower we all felt a ton better! After we all woke up a bit we played some football until Kayla kicked the football and got it stuck in a big fuck tree. It was so funny but some bumpkin that worked there brought down a trailer full of canoes to climb up on and we finally got it after an hour of throwing logs, balls, sticks, etc.... It was fun. Then we played some soccer and baseball. It was cool..... I finally learned how to play Texas Hold'em also. I suck.... Instead of playing for money we played for drinks. That we had to take later in the evening when everyone started drinking..... Katy had 297 to take, Kayla had 127 to take.... I had 191 to take Joe had 50 and andrew had 100..... Lets just say none of us could stand up. It was awesome..... Took 39 beers to finish up all that drinking though. Then we still had 4 people to get drunk and two 20 packs to do it. Man we were fucked up.... Then we were playing volleyball and my team was winning and it started to rain so we all ran back too the campsite like some bitches cleaning up and took down three of the tents because they didn't have covers. As SOON as we got finished it stopped. But its a good thing we took them down because of the rain later. We all chilled for awhile, some people took naps, a bunch of us were in the tent I was trying too nap in pillow fighting so I thought forget the nap and joined in. After a little chillin in the tents and around the fire we all decided to play flashlight tag, *except dave his ass went too sleep at 5 and didnt wake up until sunday*  until it started raining.  Then we went and started playing circle of death. Good thing there was a deck up by the bathrooms or we would've been soaked. We went up there it was fun..... until Don decided to break some glass bottles and run off to the campsite. It was cool though we were all drunk so we cleaned up and went too bed... Except me and Jamie.... We decided we weren't tired so we went too play football on the beach and Jamie tackled my ass into the water... We thought the river was farther away than it was. I was soaked and I hurt my fucking back BAD! It was worth all the scrapes, cuts and bruised that I got on that trip....  I can't believe how much fun it was though.